BE ANGRY, AND DO NOT SIN

By: Richard Kirkland

“Be angry, and do not sin.  Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (Psalm 4:4).

Introduction:

                        A.        Whether we will admit it or not, we are all angry people.  We may not be conscious of it, and we may do our best to suppress our angry feelings — but we are angry.  I do not mean that we are constantly angry, but often angry.  And I am not suggesting that we should be ashamed or embarrassed by our anger — unless it has led us to sin.  Sometimes anger is a legitimate and appropriate response to the often difficult and confusing experiences of our lives.

                        B.         If anger is always wrong, then God is guilty of sin because He Himself is an angry God.

                        1.         He was angry at the antediluvian world and destroyed them with a flood.  The Bible says, “And the LORD was sorry that He made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart” (Genesis 6:6).

                        2.         He was angry at the Israelites in the wilderness.  “Therefore I was angry with that generation, And said, ‘They always go astray in their heart, And they have not know My ways.’ So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest’” (Hebrews 3:10, 11)

                        3.         Jesus was sometimes angry with sinful, hardhearted people.  “And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other” (Mark 3:5).

C.        Anger defined.

                        1.         The Greek work translated “angry” is opyn and was originally applied to any natural impluse, or desire or disposition but, over time, came to signify anger, as the strongest of all passions. (Strong).

                        2.         The root work, opyaw, denoted and internal motion, esp. that of plants and fruits swelling with juice (Thayer).

                        3.         Have you ever heard or used the expression, “I am so angry I could burst?” You may have been closer to the truth than you realized!

                        4.         Actually, anger is a “catch-all” term for a great number of feelings or emotions that we all experience (from mild annoyance, irritability, confusion, or disappointment to intense hatred).

D.        But suppressed and prolonged anger can be hurtful to our emotional and physical health and well being and can lead to sinful thoughts and behavior that will cause us to lose our souls.

                        1.         Physical and emotional harm.  “Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret away because of him who prospers in his way, Because of man who brings wicked schemes to pass.  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret — it only causes harm” (Psalm 37:7,8).

                        2.         Spiritual destruction.  “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth” (Col. 3:8)

E.         We need to admit our anger, identify the root causes of it and learn how to deal with it in a spiritually healthy and righteously responsible way.

I.  WHY AM I SO ANGRY?

                        A.        A man came to my office expressing intern anger.  He seemed angry at the whole world.  And he didn’t know why.  But a little investigation revealed the deepseted cause of his anger.  Then he was able to work on resolving his conflicts.

                        B.         Why do we become so angry?  “Be angry, and do not sin.  Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (Psalm 4:4)

                                                1.         Because our lives are out of control.  When we can no longer tolerate the imperfections of our own lives or the lives or others, we become angry.

                                                2.         Because we have failed.  Anger is especially and more easily aroused in competitive people,  A-personality types who go all out to succeed.  When they have set lofty, unattainable goals and failed to reach them or have otherwise been hindered from attaining their goals and winning the prize, they become angry.

                                                3.         Because life has not turned out the way we dreamed.

                        a.         Marriage.

                        b.         Children/Parents.

                        c.         Disappointments, confusion, and brokenheartedness can lead to anger, and bitterness and rebellion.

4.         Because our sense or self-worth has been injured.

                        a.         When someone has ignored, shunned, slighted, disapproved, embarrassed, spoken against, acted against, or otherwise made us to feel  belittled, we become angry.

                        b.         Sometimes our self-worth is injured because we have an inflated ego or are filled with pride and conceit or have other selfish ambitions that have contributed to our anger.  In such cases, our injury may be more imagined than real, and self-inflicted rather inflicted by others, but nevertheless the anger we feel is real.

II.  WHEN IS MY ANGER SINFUL?

                        A.        When my anger results from selfishness, intolerance of the imperfections of others or arouses suspicion about others, it may be leading me to sin.

                        B.         When it leads to any of the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) or destroys the fruit of the Spirit of my life (Galatians 5:22-24) it is sinful.

C.        When it is prolonged and unresolved, it is sinful.

                        1.         “Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26)

                        2.         Do not hold a grudge against another person.  Many people have injured their own emotional and physical health by harboring ill will toward others and have self-destructed spiritually while blaming others for what they alone can control.

D.        Anger is sinful when it leads to aggression.

                        1.         Active aggression — outbursts of wrath, violence, jealousy, envy, strife, physical or verbal abuse of others.  A person who “speaks his mind” and is quick to “give others a piece of his mind” will soon find that he has none left for himself.

                        2.         Passive aggression — Silent treatment, sulking and pouting, disassociation, withdrawal, evasiveness, non-participation, complaining, murmuring, whisperings, or criticizing behind their backs.

E.         Anger is NOT sinful when manifested appropriately.

                        1.         “Be angry (imperative) and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).  There are some things worth being angry about!  I am angry which I see little children mistreated.  I am angry when I see husbands abusing their wives.  I am angry when I see old people neglected. I am angry with people who reject my Lord and Savior and choose a life of sin.

                                                2.         We can be assertive about our anger.

                        a.         “If you feel disrespected or ignored and you do nothing to properly address your needs, eventually you will become sour and your contributions to relationships will be negative.  Assertiveness allows you to keep a clean slate with others.  Two key reminders will help you to communicate assertively: (1) Make sure the issues receiving your attention are not trivial.  Instead, expend your emotional energy on subjects that matter.  (2) Be aware that your tone of voice can help create an atmosphere of respect for others.  This is consistent with the Ephesians 4:15 instruction to speak the truth in love.” (The Anger Workbook, pg. 35, Carter/Minirth).

                        b.         Feelings need to be expressed and righteous anger expresses itself without being disrespectful or harmful of others.  A mark of Christian maturity is the ability to express oneself graciously even when under stress. “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one”(Colossians  4:6)

III.       HOW CAN I DEAL WITH MY ANGER?

                        A.        Admit your anger.  “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

                        B.         Explore the causes of your anger.  Get in touch with your feelings.  Know yourself.

                        C.        Accept the imperfections of others.  This does not mean that you agree with them.  There are times when you can agree to disagree (on matters of judgment and opinion).  Tolerate the weaknesses and imperfections that you see in others — because they are tolerating you!

                        D.        Accept the limit of your ability to make a difference.  You are powerless to change some things.  Pray the serenity prayer often — Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

                        E.         Set controls for how you will express anger. (Ephesians 4:26)

                        F.         Let time pass before responding to irritants.  Count to 10 if mad, 100 if really mad.  Learn to be patient.

                        G.        Recognize and embrace alternatives.  Rather than become angry you can:

                        1.         Rationalize.  Why did he do that?  He was having a bad day.

                        2.         Don’t take it personally.   “Love keeps no accounts of evil” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

                        3.         Let go of our anger.  “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God inn Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

                        4.         Practice forgiveness “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” — Don’t hold grudges.

                        a.         Forgive others, not because they deserve it or have asked for it, but because you need to do it for yourself.  Otherwise you will become bitter, like the prodigal son’s elder brother (Luke 15), and your own prayers will be hindered (Matthew 6:14-15).

                        b.         Let the Lord settle the accounts.  “Repay no one evil for evil.  Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.  If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.  Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.  Therefore if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:17-21).

IV.       HOW CAN WE HELP ANGRY PEOPLE?

                        A.        Deal gently with them.  “A soft answer turns away wrath.  But a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

                        B.         Be patient.  “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or  reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:8-9).

                        C.        When all else fails, it is sometimes necessary to separate from an angry person.  “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul” (Proverbs 22:24).

Conclusion:

                        A.        Our service to God requires that we handle our anger appropriately.

                        B.         If anger has robbed you of your vitality and usefulness, repent.

                        C.        If you will obey the gospel, God will forgive every sin.